Dull

I seem to be at a pretty bad fibro low. The cold/flu thing that tag-teamed me through September really kicked me hard, and getting back on my feet is a very long drawn-out process that's not much fun at all. It's also that time of year where I'm restless, but don't want to leave my office. I want to be out being distracted by things, but I don't have the energy to either do it physically or mentally, since dealing with People At Large requires a heck of a lot of energy. And as I no longer have the car, going out via public requires more time and physical energy as well.

So I'm spending a lot of time flipping dully through stuff on the internet hoping for inspiration, researching spinning and testing stuff out because it relaxes me and doesn't draw a whole bunch of energy from me, and getting frustrated because I can't work. Work is... draining. It's at the point where I'm not being fulfilled by it, and it's just a paycheque. Which is not a bad thing, because I never set out on this particular freelance gig seeking fulfillment; it was always intended to be just a paycheque, because money is good. It's just really hard to open these documents and run a review on them, because most of the time they're poorly written and poorly laid out, and that's really depressing. I have to muster up a huge amount of energy to deal with them, and that's draining on a whole other level. What would probably fulfill me more is actually writing, except that whole finite amount of energy and currently low levels means I need to direct the energy towards paying/deadlined work first. I feel exhausted just thinking about writing my own stuff, and not terribly inspired. What I need to do is rethink how I handle these assignments. Maybe read through them entirely before starting to pull out the broken elements for the report, then handle the report at the end rather than starting with it at the beginning of the read-through, because it slows things down.

Cello is feeling kind of sloggy at the moment too, because I'm trying to internalize a whole lot of stuff that's coming up in lessons, mostly about technique, and as a result a bunch of other stuff is breaking down. This is not unusual; very often we have to unlearn things, or take things apart in order to reassemble them properly. I know this intellectually, but my emotional awareness just sees things I was playing decently now being played horribly and piles on the self-confidence crisis. Orchestra is a slog too, because I've been dealing with the take-apartness issues (I've played everything on this program before, so why can't I do it now?), the past month I've been ill and unable to focus properly, and I'm experiencing issues with bringing things up to tempo. I can play them sub-tempo at home, and I'm not up to speed yet at rehearsal, which, let me tell you, is frustrating and embarrassing when you sit second chair right in front of the conductor. (I am very specifically not looking at the Beethoven, here. I know, I asked for a Beethoven symphony; I've changed my mind. How about some Haydn? Or some Boyce?) So rather than being excited about cello the way I was in the spring and early summer I'm dragging my feet.

* The complete original post at Owls' Court
* Owls' Court: the main journal

Orchestra Again

Nothing like being the de facto principal cellist in the absence of the first chair on the first day of orchestra… and not embarrassing myself. Go me!

Yes, it was the first orchestra rehearsal of the season last night, and our principal cellist couldn’t make it. It’s entirely possible that the late notice caught her with a double-booking. Anyway, our new conductor graciously asked if I wanted to move into the first chair and I said, “Oh, no; I’m good right here, thanks.” So everyone else shuffled so as to be closer and the third chair moved up to sit first. And I discovered something: Even though we were sight reading, in general my rhythm and timing is more accurate. We all ran into problems with a badly printed copy of the music and nasty accidental-sown runs (oh, Beethoven, I love you but you’re a bastard, with your notation tricks of slurs across beats and those damn modulations within scale-like passages), but I was pretty reliable in entrances and so forth. I did lose my place more than I’d liked in the runs because everything was squished together, and I have trouble ignoring people who are playing the wrong thing at the wrong time to focus on my own technically correct stuff. Still, it was a good time, and bodes very, very well for the season. Also, yay for my intonation. Lessons and a new cello are working well.

And in related news, I can’t listen to the Schubert ‘Rosamunde’ theme without singing ‘Waltzing Matilda’ in my head. (Now you can’t either. Ha.)

* The original post at Owls' Court
* Owls' Court: the main journal

Canada Day Concert Redux

It is my very great pleasure to share with you the video taken of the entire Canada Day concert.

Bless Martine and Daniel for shooting the HD footage, for editing it and posting it to YouTube; and even more so for burning all those concert DVDs for the orchestra members! It was a real treat to sit back and enjoy the concert the way the audience did, and as the Blu-Ray player and TV are hooked up to the surround stereo and subwoofer, I got to hear the orchestra in all its glory. (Okay, the church is very echoey, and at times our articulation isn't as clear as it could have been and those two issues = occasional muddy sound, but hey! There's sound to be heard!) And I appreciate it all the more because my audio recording was such a miserable mess.

Calixa Lavallée's O Canada

Schubert: Symphony No 3 in D Major

1. Adagio maestoso - Allegro con brio

2. Allegretto

3. Menuetto - Trio

4. Presto vivace



Vaughan Williams: Suite of English Folk Songs

1. March - Seventeen Come Sunday

2. Intermezzo - My Bonny Boy

3. March - Folk Songs from Somerset



Fauré's Pavane



Grieg: Norwegian Dances

1. Allegro Marcato

2. Allegretto tranquillo e grazioso

3. Allegro moderator alla Marcia

4. Allegro molto



Encores

1. Vaughn Williams suite excerpt

2. sing along O Canada

Overall, I am very pleased with my performance in this video. Two things leap out at me. One, I tend to make small faces while I play, mostly tightening of the mouth during different phrases. It's not in reaction to mistakes, it's more like... expression. It probably can't be seen from the audience, but seeing it on screen when the camera was on the celli was very odd. This summer I'm going to work on relaxing the muscles around my mouth when I play. And two, I've been working on lowering my right elbow, and damn it, every once in a while it pops up like a chicken wing. Down, elbow! Down! Something else to work on this summer.

There were a couple of places in the video when I waved my hands at the screen and said, "The celli! The CELLI! They have the theme, the violins are just playing a repeated note -- pan RIGHT!" And there was the odd place where the camera would pan to the brass... just in time for them to lower their instruments. But those are understandable in a live recording, and really, I'm just thrilled to have the record of the event. Especially on DVD! Merci encore, Martine et Daniel, vos efforts et votre générosité sont vraiment appréciés!

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* The original post at Owls' Court
* Owls' Court: the main journal
~

Weekend Roundup

I've been low on fibro spoons the past few days. Here's a brief recap of the weekend.

Friday: I moved my office around. HRH stopped by on his way to get more paint, and helped. The window is now at my back. I like the new layout; curiously, there is more room in the office now. We'll see if the fresh perspective helps the writing process. At least now people can't come in the door and watch what I'm doing over my shoulder. I managed to get twenty pages of Orchestrated edited, a minor miracle considering I spent three hours on the first page. I could see that it wasn't right, but I couldn't fix it properly, either. Cello lesson Friday night, the last before fall. The Suzuki book 2 review is officially over (yaaaaay!) although my teacher wants me to further polish the last two pieces on our time off. My summer homework: working through Position Pieces vol 1, working the page of exercises she wrote out, reviewing book 1 in thumb position, and looking at the first piece in book 3. Cool links of the day: Ottawa's NAC Orchestra puts music archive online; and I discovered Kevin Fox, whom I can only describe as a cellist with the voice of Elvis Costello.

Saturday: HRH headed out to do a half-day of painting to finish up Mousme's kitchen, so the boy and I made cookies, painted with watercolours, and watched video of Neil Peart. Friday afternoon I had timed a Craiglist query perfectly and snagged a used Rock Band set for the Wii, and Saturday after the boy's nap we collected it and set it up. The included USB hub, which is supposed to pull power from the Wii when plugged in, doesn't, so we can only use two peripherals at once till we find a powered hub. As no one is particularly moved to do vocals, this is fine for now.





We need another guitar peripheral so I can play bass while the boy rocks out on guitar (perhaps we won't plug his in). I'm not enamoured of the fret keys on the guitar; the red one seems to be stubborn on the lower frets, while the green is stubborn on the higher ones. I suppose I'll get used to it. (I am amused that I refer to them as 'lower' and 'higher' when they have nothing to do with the frequency of sound produced. Well, they'd be lower or higher if it was a real guitar.)

Saturday night HRH and I were supposed to break the Rock Band set in properly, but I was too tired and he couldn't really drum while the boy was asleep because the kit sounds exactly like my cousin Iain's practise pads used to sound when he practised for pipe and drum band (in other words, loud and sharp).

Sunday: We ran errands. Looked for a powered USB hub but couldn't find one for less than $50 so left it for now; picked up the silencer pads for the drum kit; bought Tal and Kristie's housewarming present (breadmaker!); bought an ice cream maker for us (something I've been on the fence about for two years). Picked up a couple of 4 litre jugs of water because despite promising there would be news on Friday, LaSalle still has us all under a boil-water advisory. Early lunch and nap, then off to beautiful, bucolic Hudson for a Very Important Orchestra Meeting, at which we did a recap of the year and the conductors we've evaluated. We chose our new conductor (thereby also approving the substantial fee increase) by unanimous vote. We'd intended the vote to be by secret ballot, but people were just so enthusiastic that it wasn't necessary. While the orchestra met, the boy ran around and around the gorgeous property, played with the dog and counted frogs in the waterfall/pond. Back home, made dinner, put boy to bed, set Blade up as the Responsible Adult On Site (Now With Rock Band) and headed out to an RPG, which hadn't met to play in, um, very long. Hurrah for fully-assembled parties, and action finally beginning. Feels like things are underway at last.

I'm so very excited about this new conductor. I think he can do a lot for us, and I'm looking forward to seeing how we can be better integrated into the local music scene.

The only bad thing about the weekend (other than being short on spoons) was buying rechargeable batteries that would only work in a proprietary charger not once, but twice. Two different brands; two different sets of tiny tiny fine print. Not amused.

Right; on to editing.

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* The original post at Owls' Court
* Owls' Court: the main journal
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Canada Day Concert Review

Every year around this time I say something along the lines of "best concert ever." I feel rather like the boy who cried wolf, because I've said it so many times now that you're not going to believe me when I say that no, this was the best Canada Day concert I've ever had the joy and honour of playing in. No, really. No hyperbole here. I can produce witnesses. A couple of hundred of them, even.

Thank you so much to everyone who came out, including (but not limited to!) HRH and the boy, my in-laws, Marc, MLG, Daphne, Lu, Tamu and Patrick, Jeff and Paze and Devon, and I'm sure I'm forgetting somebody. A couple of fellow cello students were in attendance, too, and it was fun to see them. Thanks must also go out to Ceri and Scott, who hosted a pre-concert barbeque with the intention of leaving with everyone else, but who were detained by a sulky house with plumbing issues. (Scott, you grilled our steak to perfection; thank you.)

I've been talking about recording a concert for aeons, and I finally brought the MiniDisc to this one. I'm heartbroken to hear that the levels were too high, and because an awful lot of last night was Loud with a capital L, there's static and popping and muffling throughout it all. Still, I can hear how good it was under the poor sound quality. I wish I'd thought to check levels during warmup, but I completely forgot I had the thing in my bag. This is better than nothing for me, though, because it showcases the precision and interpretation. The recording is also somewhat weighted toward the celli, bass, and tympani, because, well, that's the side I sit on (although the mic was just a foot left of centre) and all those instruments have deadly low frequency levels that together can really distort a recording. I can't do much about it with Audacity; I'm hoping that I can transfer the files to a Mac-friendly format and work on them in GarageBand once the Mac Mini has been acquired at the end of the month.

(I'm transferring the recording to the computer now, and hello, I nailed the exposed cello solo line in the Pavane, which was the one I was worried about. Ha! A wee bit off on the first cello-led phrase in the Grieg dances, but I'm attributing that to the somewhat, er, accelerated speed at which we played them. Also? Best rendition of the Pavane out of the three times we've played it since I joined. I think the proper speed is key; go too slowly and it dies a dead death. It's solemn, not funereal.)

We got to use risers for the first time, bringing us all onto the same level and lifting us above the audience. I think it made a lot of difference sound-wise. This conductor set his music stand between the second chairs of the violins and the celli; he likes being right in the middle of things. I kind of like it too; I don't have to crane my neck so much.

This conductor is dynamic, focused, has wonderful musical expression, has already dragged us beyond the level at which we were functioning, and comes with a host of fringe benefits like established connections within the musical and cultural communities. I think the vote on Sunday is a no-brainer, but I am only one of forty people, and there's a money issue which I think is an obstacle of principal for some. I want to keep working with him, actively want to, as opposed to being happy with my performance under one of the previous guest conductors. Even with the poor recording quality, I can compare them to the performance caught on video in the fall, and I think there's no comparison. This performance was much more crisp and vibrant.

It was really good to feel capable during this entire concert. And I don't think I'd have felt this comfortable if we hadn't struggled with the Bizet and Mendelssohn for the last concert. I've made tremendous strides forward this past season, what with the new cello, a new teacher, and this varied selection of music chosen by three very different conductors. Just working with a teacher has made a world of difference, enabling me to shift and nuance what I'm doing in a way I couldn't do before. I am extremely pleased with my performance last night.

Afterward, while we were waiting for the fireworks to begin, Patrick asked me what a conductor actually does other than stand up there and wave his arms at a performance, and I realised that if you're not a musician familiar with the rehearsal process you probably have no idea that the conductor is literally the director of the whole show from beginning to end. He chooses the music, guides the interpretation, asks for more or less from various performers, tweaks phrasing and delivery, and is basically responsible for what makes it different from other versions one hears. He's the observing ear who reflects what you've just played back to you and tells you how to make it better, something that's hard to do when you're sitting in the middle of it.

And my new 7/8 baby performed very well. I played it in the spring concert, but it's really opening up and sounded even better this concert. After my week away I picked it up and it sounded very rich, heavy on the ringing tones and with remarkably full resonance. Impressive. I am very happy with it. It was a good lateral move, indeed. I even like the fibreglass bow that came with it. It's wouldn't be my choice of bow, but it's got good balance and resistance. My favourite bow is warping, and that cracked frog has to give out sometime. This fall I'll start the bow search.

We were even fortunate weather-wise. The day was mostly bright, although a glorious thunderstorm boomed and cracked during our hour-long warmup. There was a particularly amusing moment where we were counted in and the thunder rolled on the beat we were to start on; apparently the storm wanted to play too. The rain ended forty-five minutes before we began, though, so everything was fresh and clean and cool for the concert itself. And the fireworks were spectacular; there were some I'd never seen before. It was the boy's first firework experience, and he loved them. "They're loud!" he exclaimed from his father's lap, where he was sitting all wrapped up in a blanket provided by his godparents. "And they're all my favourite colours!" At various points during the day yesterday he randomly yelled out, "Happy birthday Canada!" and waved the tiny flag someone handed him early in the day while we were out. We almost got caught by the parade downtown; if we'd known about it we might have planned to attend. Next year, I think.

One more lesson, and then I'm off till mid-August. Marc's piano has been tuned, so I think we'll mess about together in the interim. I transposed "Itsudo Nando Demo" the other day using Forte, and it was very worth the time. I can read treble and transpose down as I play for a couple of measures at a time, but not three pages' worth.

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* The original post at Owls' Court
* Owls' Court: the main journal
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C Minus Six Hours

I've packed my concert blacks (long skirt this year, TYVM, since last year's pictures showed that my mid-calf length dress was still too short), various toiletries and hair clips, and weeded non-essentials out of my music bag. I've got the MiniDisc ready to go (because yes, I'm going to try to record this one, the Vaughn Williams is that good). There's a steak thawing on the counter to take to Ceri and Scott's, where we're heading for an hour once the boy is up from his nap. There will be beer. I need to pack the boy's backpack still, but other than that, I suspect I'm basically done.

Looks like the weather will be kinder than expected; the POP is now only at 40%, and there's a nice wind. The high tonight is supposed to be 17 degrees. I think I'll risk wearing my new black leather mules, and bring an emergency pair of shoes to wear in case it rains.

Music stand. Must pack the big music stand.

Happy Canada Day, everyone. HRH has already cracked open my Canada Day gift to him, a special edition Innis & Gunn. Enjoy your day. See you on the other side.

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* The original post at Owls' Court
* Owls' Court: the main journal
~

Concert Reminder!

Tomorrow is Canada Day. And you know what that means: Excellent music!

Lakeshore Chamber Orchestra presents their annual Canada Day Concert
Wednesday July 1, 20h00
St-Joachim church, 2 Ste-Anne St, Pointe-Claire Village
Guest conductor: Stewart Grant
Programme:

Symphony no. 3 - Schubert
Pavane - Fauré
Norwegian Dances - Grieg
English Folk Song Suite - Vaughn Williams

The 211 bus from Lionel-Groulx metro stops at the corner of Sainte-Anne and Lakeshore, a block or two north of the church. Here’s a map to give you a general idea. Be aware that if you’re driving, parking will be at a premium because of the whole Canada Day festivities thing going on. Give yourself extra time to find a parking place and walk to the church, which will be packed with people.

Free classical music! Soul-enriching culture! And as an enticing bonus, the fireworks are scheduled for ten PM, right after we finish, and the church steps are a glorious spot from which to watch them.

Free admission, and open to the general public. The more the merrier!

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* The original post at Owls' Court
* Owls' Court: the main journal
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